Not a Nike Ad ... but JUST DO IT!

It's Wednesday evening, and once again I'm staring at a blank screen trying to gather some coherent thoughts about what to write here this week.  I have ideas throughout the week, but they are only half-baked, so to speak.  And because they are half thoughts and not developed, they don't stick with me.  Such is age, I suppose.  My mind is not as sharp as it once was, although it is better since I starting taking Mindwise everyday.

So, what to spout about this week?  Self care.  Since I've been taking care of my mom for the past week, I hear myself telling her, "You just have to ..." and I think, "If only she changed _______."  I shake my head at myself.  It's a bit ironic, and somewhat hypocritical, right?  Here I am, overweight and feeling my own aches and pains.  Do I know how to make myself thinner, stronger, and experience less pain?  Sure I do.  Then WHY don't I do it?

Ah, if I could answer that question, I'd be a billionaire!  It's true, isn't it?  We all know exactly what we should do, but we don't always follow through.  Maybe we try, but the work is too tough and the results are too slow.  Maybe it's that we think we are not that bad, or that we have time, or we look at others and say, "At least I'm not like that."  Lots of excuses to keep us from doing what we should be doing to improve our health and wellness.  

I think for me, a lot of the time I think I'm "safe" because I use essential oils.  They have changed my life and have helped me to live healthier and experience more wellness, but I doubt they can save me from a donut - yet, I still believe I'm better because of them.  

Similarly, I think a lot of people make choices based on their lifestyles and preferences, but make excuses about other elements of their life.  For example, "I eat an extremely healthy diet, so having 4-5 glasses of wine/beer won't hurt me."  Or, "I run 10 miles a day, so I deserve this grande pumpkin latte."  Unfortunately, one does not excuse the other, but I know that's the way we sometimes think.

So, how do we get to where we want to be?  Here are my six steps that I plan to implement as soon as .... Okay.  OKAY!  Tomorrow!  But just like Chutes and Ladders, if you slide down the chute, there will always be another ladder to climb to continue working on the goal.  Only YOU are the only one playing, so if you keep with it, eventually, you will win!

Step 1:  The answer is to first acknowledge the problem.  If you go out on the weekend and drink 5, 6, 8 beers ... there is a problem.  You might not even be aware that it is a problem, but the continual damage to your liver is something you don't want to have to deal with down the line.  

I have a food problem.  I don't drink my calories (though a couple of glasses of wine a week may accompany a dinner), but I eat fast and tend to eat too much.  (Ask my mother.  She's been scolding me

this week.)  Yes, CHEW thoroughly!  I know, but it's a habit I've had since I was a kid.  And I love sugar.  I have been pretty good about not buying sweets, but if you put it in front of me, I am not going to say no!    I also don't make time for exercise.  I feel I don't have extra time, and that may or not be true, but only because it is not yet a priority for me.    Okay.  There.  Problem defined.

Step 2:  What are those hard steps you need to take to start yourself on a positive journey to solve your problem?  Think about all the ways in which you fail yourself, and break them down so that you can change a negative into a positive.

My short list:

• Slow down and chew your food!
• Take smaller portions.
• Get up after you eat a reasonable amount.  (Did you ever not feel particularly "full" and then stand up from the table to feel like your belly was going to bust?  UGH!)
• Drink a glass of water before sitting down to eat.
• Don't buy trigger foods!  (Just say no!)
• Check online menus before you hit a restaurant to decide on a healthy choice, so you won't be tempted once you get there to order something more decadent!
• Minimally, get 20 minutes of exercise in a day - take a walk, stretch, yoga, go up and down the stairs, etc.  Just 20 minutes to start, and then let the time increase when you can.

Step 3:  Create a goal.  How will you know you've arrived if you haven't decided where you're going?  You need to firmly establish your main goal, along with a few minor goals that will help you achieve the big one.  Be specific, and revisit them often.

My Goals:

• Biggie - Lose 60 pounds
• Lose 5 pounds the first week
• Lose at least 1 pound each week after that.

• Baby goals:
• Eat a green salad at least 5 times a week for a month.
• Go for a walk 3 times a week for the first two weeks.
• Go for a walk 5 times a week thereafter.
• Eat dinner by 7pm
• Eat breakfast every day!
• Plan out meals for the week - breakfast, lunch, and dinner - so there are no excuses and "oh well, I have to eat something" type of meals!

Step 4:  Tell your family and friends what you are doing and what support you need.  You don't need a well-meaning friend to save you a donut from the staff meeting when you're trying to stave off sugar!  

Hey Dad, Don't offer me Pepperidge Farm Coconut cake any more, okay?  I can't say no!  
Honey?  Stop using cheese and tons of oil/butter when you cook.  Give me salads and veggies!  And if you bring chips into the house - hide them, please!
Friends, ask me to go for a walk!  

Step 5:  Keep positive!  You will always have set-backs, but one mistake doesn't mean you've failed.  Get back on the horse.  Don't eat like one!

I've ordered a pretty, antique-looking journal to use as a gratitude journal.  I want to write in it every day - setting a time aside to count my blessings and be happy for minor successes as well as the big stuff.  I think this will help me keep things in perspective, and to focus on what is going right.

Step 6:  Celebrate small successes!  Do something fun or meaningful to celebrate what is going right.  It can be with a friend, or you can celebrate all on your own, but do acknowledge your hard work and progress!  (Just don't do it with a donut!)

For my minor successes, I will do something fun with my hubby, or buy something new (like a scarf or socks that will fit me even when I lose weight!).  

As I start to hit bigger goals, I will allow myself to buy a new outfit in a smaller size, and donate a few things that don't fit, or give them away.

Okay, so I guess I wrote this mostly for myself, but now you're all my witnesses.  But, if you're like me and always striving to improve, just maybe this has helped you a little, too.    If you've read this far, leave me a comment and cheer me on in my journey to improve!

Through A Daughter's Eyes ...

Many of you who know me, know that I've been in Florida a couple of times in the past two weeks.  I'm writing this from a hotel room in Jacksonville, a few miles from the Mayo Clinic.  This has been my mom & dad's second home every sixth months for my mother's bi-yearly check-ups, and for several surgeries in the past few years.

Mom had a single lung transplant 15 years ago, and she likes to brag about being a survivor.  I don't consider it bragging, so much as cheering.  You see, not too many people last that long with a lung transplant.  Sometimes, I think it her sheer will to survive that has gotten her this far.  That, and many prayers and the grace of God.  She is my hero.

So, her latest crisis was another bout of skin cancer.  The cancer is caused by a reaction to her anti-rejection meds.  Now, as much as I hate medications, this is a much-needed one, and probably one of the main reasons for her success.  Yet, for as much as it has kept her going, it has also torn her apart.

She began to have small patches of skin cancer on her

face about five years ago.  Moh's surgery was done in the office to remove the patches and all would be well.  Three years ago, there was so much, the technician had to go deeper and deeper, and a portion of her nose was removed.  Further surgery was needed to remove a bit more, and then she went through plastic surgery to help "regrow" a nose on one side of her face.  This was done with a forehead flap, a procedure where they take a strip of skin from her forehead, and without fully removing it from the base, twist it around and suture it to help form a nose.

Mom was never fully satisfied with this "nose," as it didn't quite take at the tip and she was very self-conscious.  Unfortunately, the reason it didn't take was because there was still cancer in the area, and a year later, she had to have intensive surgery to remove the new cancer.  This took off the same side of her nose, and more into her cheek.  Six months later, she was fitted with a prosthetic, but was never quite satisfied with the look.  It had to be put on "just right," and even then, she was self-conscious about it and resorted to wearing a bandaid most of the time.

Fast forward another year to this August, and she decided to visit her first plastic surgeon, who was with her at the Mayo three years ago, but has since moved his practice to Tennessee.   It was not an easy trip, and when the doc

examined her, he put off the surgery to have more testing done.  The worst news came back as new cancer had been discovered - deeper and more pervasive.  There was a lot of doubt whether or not they would be able to operate and get all of it out ...  I was in panic mode for the rest of the summer and couldn't think about my sweet mamma without crying.

The decision was made to go back to the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville to have the surgery.  It is closer to their home, and they were familiar with the doctors there and the area.  Plus, her transplant team could keep an eye on her.  I made the decision to spend my last week of the summer with my parents so we could have quality time together and not worry about the upcoming surgery.

I returned to Jacksonville after working the first week of school so that I could be with Mom and Dad for the surgery.  My brothers were both stuck and couldn't leave work, so I represented.

I won't go into the fatigue of waiting all day on Tuesday, but get to the good news.  The doctor came out and told us that everything went extremely well.  He got all of the cancer and did biopsies along the way which came back negative.  He also began the plastic surgery for reconstruction of her nose.  She will have several phases of reconstruction, but the goal is to give her a new nose/face, and then she can stop hiding behind her bandaid.

Mom's transplant allowed her to live 15 more years so far -- enough time to see both her sons married, and her

granddaughter, as well!  She also got to see her third grandchild born, celebrated her 75th birthday with friends an family, and her 50th wedding anniversary - plus another 8 (almost) since then.  The medical miracles and amazing doctors at the Mayo Clinic have given us this joy, and so, for as much as I dislike medication and Rx pushing doctors, we have been blessed to have her in our
lives.

I can't tell you how relieved and grateful I am that she continues to be a survivor.  There is still a lot of work to be done, but I thank God that we can continue to enjoy her grace, beauty, and love for that much longer.

And I've been hearing that I'm a "good daughter" being here with my parent.  Where else would I be?  Yes, I came down to help, but I'm not supporting mom.  She is supporting me.  She's my rock.

What's Up Doc?

I find myself in conflict a lot these days.  Since I've made a commitment to toxin-free living, whenever someone mentions the words, "doctor" or "medicine," I feel the urge to scream, "NO!"  But the conflict comes because I don't really have anything against doctors OR medications.  Well, not a lot ...

My conflict comes because I feel we are an over-medicated society of Ozonians who believe everything the Wizard - or, uh, the good doctor, says.  Now, I know some doctors, and yes, they are quite intelligent and very knowledgeable.  But they are not wizards, and they are not God.  We tend to hang on their every word because, let's face it, they know a lot more about disease and medication than most of us.  

But, they don't know as much about natural healing or nutrition, or anything else that isn't in their medical books.  They're training in nutrition is often limited to one obligatory course.  In that way, I find that many doctors have a fixed mindset.  They know what they know because that's what they've been taught - but they don't always strive to find alternate answers.  I find that to be on the brink of malpractice.  

Imagine a doctor who, (maybe to save face), has the answers for just about any malady you may suffer from.  They are very sensitive and empathetic when they discuss your condition and your options, but unfortunately, they answer just the same for any patient with that condition.  It's what they know, so because they are "The Doctor," they have to come up with the answer.  After all, you're paying them big bucks to be the expert.  So, how often do you think that answer is based on YOU and your lifestyle and your individual pain point?  I don't have the answer, but it would seem that many would not look much further than their old med school books -- and who knows how out of date they might be?

Now, I know there are many good doctors - excellent doctors who really get to know their patients and keep up with all of the latest research.  If you have someone like that - bravo!  But I believe a really good doctor will look beyond themselves to examine not only the treatment, but also the cause.  Why treat someone if you haven't addressed the "why?" Most likely, that person will end up back in the same condition.

Onto pharmaceuticals ...  There are SO many unnecessary meds out there -- along with the essential drugs that keep people alive.  We, as a society, have grown to rely too fully on the medical experts and pharmaceutical companies to cure, fix, treat, or lessen the pain for anything and everything that ails us.  But in using many of these medications, we are subjecting ourselves to synthetic chemicals and compounds that our bodies are not meant to process.  It's no wonder that we need drugs to treat the side effects of other drugs.  Is that crazy, or what?

And what about the doctors who push certain drugs because the pharmaceutical companies reward them for prescribing their new wonder drug?  Is that even ethical?

I think the change has to come from us.  No, I'm not saying that we stop going to the doctor, or stop using medications. I'm saying we need to be proactive and ask questions.  Is this medication really necessary?  Or will some lifestyle changes or the removal of bad habits help to improve the situation naturally?  We've gotten lazy and complacent.  
We also need to check out natural remedies -- things that won't wreak havoc on our bodies.  Yes, sometimes that's the only choice, but sometimes it's just the easy choice and alternative methods would be so much better, albeit harder.

Yes, I'll say it again.  Change it hard.  But if we want doctors to become better healers, we need to hold them accountable for more than just the prescription pad.  




Update:  Within minutes of coming in the room at my check-up this past Friday, my doctor was pushing drugs.  For real?  
1.  Know your patients!
2.  Let's try natural remedies, first!  
Shaking my head -- and my finger!  Shame on you!

Cancer is a Four-Letter Word!

No.  It's worse than a four-letter word.  It's much more devastating than a few choice expletives. Heck, if you know me, you probably know that I kind of like cussing.  But cancer itself is a curse.  It's murder.  And unfortunately, I think it could also be suicide.

Don't get me wrong.  I don't believe people set out to kill themselves with cancer.  But I do believe we unknowingly hurt ourselves by the choices we make.

These days, we have to question everything - what we eat, what we put on our bodies, what we clean with, what we drink out of, what fabrics and textiles we surround ourselves with, and what medications we use.  We even have to be careful about the water we drink!

Now, I'm not saying that each and every one of these causes cancer, but in some people some of these things can contribute to healthy cell death, and the growth of cancer cells.  That's the most frustrating part.  No one tells you specifically WHAT to avoid, but that's because each and every one of us has a different genetic makeup, and therefore we react differently to the various stimuli that we come into contact with.

It's like the person who smokes a pack a day, versus another who does the same.  One gets cancer of the mouth, or trachea, or lungs, and the other lives to be a hundred and five.  There is no sense to it.



Some of you may know the battle my mom has been fighting.  A non-smoker, she had to have a lung transplant 15 years ago.  The fact that she has survived this long is amazing, as many transplant patients sadly don't last this long.  But, because of all the anti-rejection medications she takes, she is more susceptible to skin cancer.  She had several checkups where they did Moh's surgery to remove small cancerous spots, but about three years ago, they found a bit more, and she ended up with half of her nose removed.

Fast forward - she had plastic surgery to repair the nose, but a year later, that too had to be removed.  So two years has passed and yet again, even more cancer.  She has lived for two years with a hole in her face, and now, they will probably take more.  It just isn't fair.  I'm grateful for the extra time we've been given, but I'm so angry because I feel that the medical profession doesn't know as much as we think they know.

We trust their knowledge and expertise - and yes, I do believe they know what they are talking about - but I don't believe they have ALL the knowledge.  I don't believe they understand fully just how the body works.  At times, I feel like it is the blind leading the blind, but we trust and follow them because we're not as knowledgeable about the medical field.  After all, they ARE doctors, right?  I would like, for just once, a doctor to examine reasons and treatments beyond textbook knowledge and pharmaceutical drug-pushing.

I've had so many friends and family who have had to deal with cancer - and many more who have had family members with this disease.  Some have succumbed, some have survived, and some are still battling.  I'm so sick of hearing, "there's nothing we can do," or that surgery, radiation, or God forbid, chemo is the only way to deal with it.  We poison the body to kill the cancer cells.  Just let that sink in.

We need to become more educated about our own bodies and the products we use.  There is something we can do, but we have to be proactive and preventative, not reactive.  We have to protect ourselves, be informed, and not stick our heads in the sand, afraid to trust our instincts.  Change is needed, and however hard it is, if we don't recognize and do something about our health, then we may be putting ourselves at risk.

Some great cancer surviving gurus offer a lot of insight to life-changing behaviors and habits.  Check them out, if you're interested!

Chris Beat Cancer

Kris Carr

The Truth About Cancer

Ch - Ch - Ch - Change!

I believe that people can change - if they want to change.  It's never too late, and those who profess they are too old are just offering an excuse because they aren't ready to tackle the work needed to make change happen.  Changing a habit takes a lot of work and it takes time.  It can be extremely frustrating, too, filled with what seems like minor successes, shadowed by multiple failures.  Still, if we persist, we succeed.  

That's another lesson I try to instill in my students.  Being smart is an advantage, sure, but the truly successful people are those that have a passion for whatever they do, work hard, and persist.  "Assiduous" is the word we learn to encompass this idea.  If you're not willing to work hard, just being smart or gifted is not going to get you there.

I can be assiduous in so many ways, but I fail miserably when it comes to food ... and exercise.  Oh, I've done better this summer with my "occasional" walks, but it hasn't been enough to warrant any real change.  Somewhere deep inside, I need to find my motivation.  That's hard, of course, because changing habits and deciding to alter your behaviors, your lifestyle, or anything at all in your life takes time.  I, for one, am an "instant gratification" type of girl.  If I can't see results quickly, I give up or lose interest.  (Might explain the 3-4 crocheting projects piled up around the house and the quilt I never finished ...)

Patience is a virtue ... but she's a bitch, too!  I can be cool, calm, and collected about a lot of things, but it seems that when it comes to my body, I cave.  Anyone got a few helpful hints for me?  

Well, I'm not such a disaster as I may seem.  I can tell you one thing I changed - and it has been positive every step of the way.  When I first discovered essential oils and a way to break free from all of the toxins around me, I embraced it like the world would end if I didn't.  I believed in the power of these oils and I am so glad that I wasn't lazy about changing my lifestyle.  Sure, it would have been so much easier to ignore what I learned about toxins and other harmful chemicals, but that would be living a lie.  

I think many of us do that ... if it's not convenient to our lifestyle and not motivating enough, we ignore the warnings or diminish their importance.  Or, we pay attention, but put it on the back burner, feeling guilty that we aren't making progress towards change.  But the changes that I made for essential oils were not hard at all.  I just had to believe that getting the toxins out of my house and my body (and my family's bodies) was going to be so much more beneficial and worth the little bit of extra effort.  And I have seen big changes in how I feel, how I look, and how I move.  Change pays off!

So, do you feel stuck?  Are you living less than your best life?  You want to change something in your life, but you don't know how?  Well, you will remain stuck until YOU do something about it.  And you can.  Yes, you can.  It's time to get creative.  Whatever it is that you don't like about your current life, brainstorm what it would look like if things were different.  

I know, this post is long, but bear with me.  Here is an activity that a wise friend shared with me.  Take a piece of blank paper and fold it down the middle.  On one side, take three minutes to draw your life as it is now.  Your "current state." No, you don't have to be an artist, just draw stick figures if you want.  And draw fast!  Set a timer and limit yourself to three minutes.  Then set another three minutes and draw on the second side of the paper - this time, what you envision for your desired reality.  In other words, your dream life!  When you're done, take some time to evaluate both drawings.  It becomes crystal clear what needs to change.  Finally, draw three big 2-dimensional arrows crossing from side A to side B.  In each arrow, write one action that will help you to get from side A to side B.  When you're done, you've got the tools for change. You've got your current reality.  You've got your dream life.  You've got your action steps. Now go get 'em!

PS - After I wrote this, I was sent this link from the Mayo Clinic.  Fits right in!
How to Make Healthy Habits Stick