What Price, Rewards?

This might ruffle a few feathers, but I mean no disrespect to anyone.  These are just observations ...  take them as an opinion, but without judgement.  

I'm not sure what prompted this -- probably a commercial, or maybe I overhead a family talking.  What am I talking about?  The ways the we reward our children for good grades, good behavior, doing what they are supposed to do.  Think about it.  What do we offer for getting kids to do what we want?

• McDonalds, KFC, Arbys, etc.
• Candy, Cookies, Donuts
• Treats in the lunch box
• Ice cream
• Video games or "screen" time

I've heard families talk about McDonalds like winning the lottery.  Isn't it great?  McDonalds!  Yeah, so glad you are filling your family with processed, high sodium, high sugar foods.  What a prize!  And here, wash it all down with a coke and later we'll stop at Abbott's for an ice cream.

See anything wrong with this?  Oh, again, I'm not judging.  I am guilty of this, too -- both when my kids were young, and even on the rare occasion I see my 5 year old niece.  We all want to give our kids something nice, or fun, or sweet.  A special treat!  Yay!   But when we reward with junk food, sweets, or processed yummies, we are saying that it's okay to have these things when we deserve them.  My new view is that it's not really okay to ever have them - and if we deserve a treat, why not make it something that is good for us, and not something that will help to deteriorate our bodies.  

I know.  It seems an extreme reaction, and as I said before, I'm just as guilty.  But if I had rewarded my kids with a different kind of reward, perhaps none of us would be striving to lose weight or cut down on sugar.  Sugar is addictive - far more than any drug - and it feeds cancer cells.  Now sugar is what the brain needs to function, too, but the catch is how much.  If we have a surplus of sugar, then our brain stops functioning effectively.  

High blood sugar can lead to diabetes and inactivity, which can also lead to heart problems.  The things we reward our kids with often do the most damage to them long-term.

And maybe you're someone who truly does limit sweets and other goodies.  Do you have control at school?  At grandma's house?  And are your growing kids making healthy choices for themselves?  If so, congratulations!  You've succeeded at a miraculous feat!

I'm not going to get into video games or screen time at this time - only to say that limiting screen time is important for everyone, and I even need to set limits for myself.  When we sit in front of the computer, iPad, smartphone or tv, we are probably not having a conversation, or reading a book -- two activities which don't have negative consequences, and can actually be good for you.

So how do we fix this vicious circle?  I know I treated my kids to candy and other sugar treats, just as I was treated.  I'm hoping that any future grandchildren I have will not be treated in the same way.  We have to see these things for

what they are -- a rare treat that we must choose for ourselves.  Yup, I'm willing to gain a few pounds and lose a few brain cells over that Tiramisu Cheesecake ...  But only once a year.  However, I don't have the right to kill the brain cells of children in my care.

I bring apples to my classroom once a year and every student gets an apple that day.  You would think I had given them a pony.  They are so excited to choose an apple and

then enjoy it in class.  Really.  An apple.  They LOVE apple day.  So kids aren't really the problem.  We have instilled this on them, that candy is a treat and to be coveted.  No wonder we have an obesity epidemic in our country.

The fact is, once we wean ourselves from our sugar habits, we cease to crave it.  If only I could get to that stage!  But my point is, let's stop using something so damaging as sugar to reward our kids.  It sends the wrong message and builds unhealthy habits for the future.  Instead, plan a family fun day, play a board game, or just spend quality time with your child.  It will be a reward for you, too, because your time with them is limited.  (And as an empty-nester, I know how fast it goes!)  Why not spend quality time with your kids and build your relationship.  Give the gift of you.  It is far more valuable and it doesn't cause any nasty health issues!

Further reading

• It’s Up to Us, Not Our Kids, to Change the Food Environment
• Soccer Mom on a (Nutrition) Mission
• No More Skittles: School Snacks May Get Healthy Update
• What Rewarding Kids with Food Looks Like 20 Years Later
• The Sugar and Cancer Connection: Why Sugar Is Called “The White Death”
• No Sugar, No Cancer? A Look at the Evidence

No More Coupons!

I used to be a coupon collector.  You know, buy an extra Sunday paper just so you can collect more coupons ...  I had a whole system for organizing them,  and I remember taking a whole box full to the grocery store each week.  I was so proud to save my family money and loved finding the best deals!

That was probably 25 years ago.  I continued to clip coupons for several years, but then I realized I was buying stuff we just didn't need, simply because we had a coupon.  I started to cut down on the coupons, only clipping the ones for products we currently used -- or for something we wanted to try.  Sounds like a good plan, right? 

I enjoyed the feeling of saving money, and I still clip a few to this day, but it is pretty rare.  What's the change?  Well, did you ever notice the type of products that have coupons?  There are some trends - mostly because a particular company wants to push their merchandise.  So, Keebler pushes their cookies and crackers, Clorox Co. gives you a dollar off their cleaners, and Proctor & Gamble pushes shampoo, soaps, and other personal products.  What's wrong with that you may ask?  

Recently, I paged through a coupon circular that is delivered every week in a pile of junk mail.  I came to the realization that just about everything offered is either full of sugar and artificial ingredients, or full of toxins that can really mess with your body systems - especially your endocrine system.

And who do these coupons target?  Families with limited income who try to make ends meet by using coupons.  But now, they are buying foods full of sugar and low on nutrients.  Not good for anyone.  And since sugar is something that cancer cells feed on, the health implications can be devastating.

Detergents, cleaners, and other household products can be bought for SO cheap at the Dollar Store, but if you have a coupon, you can get the name brand and save!  But nearly every single one of them (name brand or not) is full of harmful toxins that linger long after the scent fades away.

And the shampoos, conditioners, body washes, soaps, deodorants, and baby products offered are just as bad - maybe worse.  So many chemicals and synthetic ingredients that these become toxic to our bodies.  Whatever you put  on your skin DOES get into your body, so this is no joke.  Our bodies are great at detoxing, but when we are bombarded by artificial ingredients and toxic chemicals, we can't keep up.  And we purposely stop ourselves from detoxing, too!  Don't know what I mean?  Americans don't like sweat, so we plaster our underarms with antiperspirants.  But we need to sweat in order to release toxins.  When you

stop perspiration, you force your body to hold in those toxins.  That's when disease sets in and our health deteriorates before we can even know what's happening.  It's the reason a person may seem perfectly healthy, and yet find out the next day they have cancer.  

A quick note - use an all-natural deodorant for sweat.  You will still sweat, but you won't stink!  

Moving on!  So, I don't use coupons anymore, unless it is for something healthy and clean and not something that will affect my body in an adverse way.  Perhaps I can do this because instead of one income back 25 years ago, we have two and can afford to make better choices.  Perhaps it is education.  In several articles I scanned, it revealed that eduction is a factor in good health.  The better educated, the healthier, and vice versa.  I certainly do still have my own nutrition challenges, but I know what's healthy and what's not.  It's the sugar devil inside me that contributes to my health issues.  But it is something I am aware of and struggle to make work each and every day.  And why I make the choice to avoid coupons - and the temptation to buy one of those delicious looking, whipped cream covered heart attacks in a plastic stay-fresh wrap, coming 10 to a box.

It's also why I spend my money on good quality, non-toxic products for my household and personal use.  I figure I put enough toxins in my body by accident (or not by accident, as I shove something "forbidden" into my mouth...), so I am doubly sure not to add to that by using products I know are harmful.  It was a pretty easy switch to make.  I don't have to worry about what something tastes like - these are products I use on my body or clean my home with.  And, the best part is, they all smell great!  No chemical smells - just beautiful scents from nature.


So, I'll avoid the free sugar crap by not using coupons, and keep buying my non-toxic, essential oils infused personal products and cleaners, and just keep working to free myself from sugar.  Yup.  Still working on me.

Finding Faith

The title of this post seems to suggest that I've lost something.  Well, I haven't.  And it's not that I've never had faith, because I have, and I do.  But it is something I've been thinking about a lot lately and trying to reconcile my feelings.

I was raised in a Christian family, but weren't a religious family.  We walked to a church when I was younger that was around the corner from our home.  I loved going to Sunday School and hearing all the bible stories.  In the summer, we attended Bible School.  It felt natural and peaceful and right.

When we moved out of that town, we didn't get to church as often.  My mom, wanting to keep us "in the spirit," would drive my brother and I to Sunday School and then pick us up later.  Sometimes my parents would go, too, but they had a baby to take care of and I think it was hard for them to get us all out of the house looking respectable each week.  
Eventually, we switched to a church in our new town and became part of a new church family.  I loved singing in church, going to Sunday School, and participating in Youth Group, though I don't remember doing any of those things long-term.  I think I even taught a few Sunday School classes when I was in high school, but my memory is shoddy there.

Unfortunately, after high school, I didn't much get to church on a regular basis.  I was busy learning about life in ways I had never known, and I didn't have time.  You know, teenagers - think they know it all.  It wasn't that I had forgotten God, he was just out of my immediate "present." And I pretty much didn't know I could even go to church while I was at college.  I was devoted to the theatre department at that stage in my life.  

Fast forward to my wedding.  Dick and I decided to get married in my old church from when I was a kid.  My pastor from my second church was now retired, but assisting at the first church, and he agreed to marry us.  It was a lovely, traditional church wedding.  Soon afterwards, we returned to that same church to have our twins baptized.  


I wanted our kids to know God and experience that same joy of listening to bible stories, singing in church, and experiencing the love of God, so when they were about 5 we began looking for a church our family would feel comfortable in.  The first church was Methodist (how I was raised), but we never felt comfortable there.  People were kind and

welcoming, but they didn't even remember us from week to week.  We would get greeted with, "Welcome!  you must be new!", when in fact, we had been coming for several weeks.  So we tried elsewhere.  We walked into St Luke's Episcopal in Brockport and immediately felt embraced by this congregation and by Father David.  We were pretty regular for many years.  I taught Sunday School and both Dick and I were Lay readers at one point.  And every Christmas I directed the pageant with all of the kids from the congregation.  It was home.

Father David invited me to help him teach at camp one summer.  We traveled to a Episcopalian camp which held several sessions, but we were assigned to just one week.  It was a new experience to me, and so uplifting to see so many youth and counselors praising the Lord in joyous celebration.  It left quite an impression on me, and I yearned to feel a connection with Christ as I had witnessed others doing.

When Father David left to move to another state, we were devastated, but continued to attend for awhile.  Unfortunately, it wasn't the same, and getting out of bed on a Sunday morning was not easy any more, and eventually we just stopped trying.  The kids were in college and nothing felt right.  

I began to think of church as something manmade and not the house of the Lord.  I have some shame about that.  After all, God is God and He is everywhere, so shouldn't I just buck up and get my sorry butt to church?  Lots of time passed, and we became the "Easter and Christmas" crowd. Now, we don't go at all.  And yes, there is much guilt.

Getting into Young Living, I've been reunited with God.  I have been praying - probably more than I ever did before - and when I ask for guidance, he has answered me in true and unusual ways.  At a rally earlier this year, I entered a few raffles, and out of the blue, I won an "Ancient Oils of the Bible" set.  I was blown away because I thought all of my raffle entries were gone ... In fact, I didn't even know my number was called, and when I

realized it was me, I had NO idea what I had won.  I burst into tears when I saw the box -- and realized God had once again answered my prayer of "Should I be doing this Young Living thing as a business?"  The answer came loud and clear.

As I said, I am praying more often, asking for guidance, praying for others, and giving thanks for all that I have in this world.  It is beginning to feel more natural and comfortable, though I know I have a long way to go ...  I struggle with "the  church," especially when I hear stories of abuse or meet "church goers" who have very distinct opinions or biases about others.  I know the Bible is God's word, but as a critical thinker, I wonder at how much of it was embellished by the writers.  You know, let's just tweak this story or this "law," and people will behave better.  

I believe in the essence of the Word, and that the interpretation is just as it is in anything else you might read.  One person's experience may be different than another's.  The lessons you need to hear will be the ones that come through loud and clear.


At the Diamond Bound conference this past Sunday, I attended the Sunday Service with my roommates.  I wasn't sure what to expect, but I was glad that they both wanted to go, so I wouldn't be alone.  I would have gone without them ... Well, I would have planned to go, but I know I would have probably not made it a priority, so I was grateful for the push.  The service was a beautiful compilation of songs and faith.  A band played and sang 

hymns of joy, love, and thanks.  Our voices were united as we followed the words on the big screens.  Young Living is a company of faith, so there were many in the room who were certain of their place in His world and you could feel the spirit all around.   It was amazing to experience and be a part of.  Many people raised their arms to the sky, welcoming God's spirit.  There were times I was sobbing, or singing, or even raising my arms -- I wanted to feel all the feels and be a part of this world.

I am trying to keep a gratitude journal and write in it every night with at least five things I experienced each day that made me grateful.  At first it was difficult to think of things, but now, I find myself feeling grateful as it happens - and so these events come pouring out of my pen in the evening, and I can rest easily, thankful for this wonderful world that God has made me a part of.  

I will continue to explore and grow in my faith.  I believe that God is Love, and that if we just appreciate what we have, share with others, and give from the heart, love will be there, too.  And with love, all things are possible.  With God, all things are possible.

PS - If you are on a journey of faith, too, I would love to talk with you.  Maybe share a cup of coffee and our joys, doubts, fears, and other experiences.  

Mindset

Would you be able to recognize yourself?  If someone described you -- not a close friend, but a casual observer -- would you recognize the "you" they see?

I consider myself pretty in tune with who I am, but recently, I was startled to hear myself described as "insecure."  I wasn't so much startled about the statement, as it was no revelation to me that I am, indeed, insecure.  But the fact

that someone else saw that in me was scary.  I don't want to be seen as insecure, so the fact that this was a key word in describing me means I have to start sucking it up and putting more confidence into my everyday persona.

But how many of us are truthful in our own self-assessment of who we are and how we come across to others?  One area in particular that I think many have difficulty with is in recognizing their mindset.  We all like to think we are open to anything that comes our way, but are we really?  Do we accept others or judge?  If we're honest, I bet we all judge just a little bit before we catch ourselves.  We like to compare ourselves to others, hoping we measure

up in a more favorable light than those around us.  "I'm smarter ... prettier... thinner ... kinder... than so-and-so."  It boosts our egos.  But if we're assessing fairly, we aren't as good as we think we are when we're judgmental, right?

I guess the prompt for this post today is the fact that so many people judge and dismiss something, thinking they know the facts, and yet, they really don't know anything at all.  No, I'm not talking about our current political situation.  

Hey, I'm insecure, remember?  I'd never step out of my

comfort zone to actually post anything political!  Too many people to piss off, and hey, I may not agree with you, but I think we both have the right to our own opinions.  You're still a good person and so am I.  No, I'm talking about people who decide that essential oils are a waste of time and don't really do anything for the body -- but they've never tried them.  They've never given them a chance, because if they did, they wouldn't be walking away.  Now, I haven't talked directly about essential oils for a while, so bear with me!

Some people make decisions based on what they think are the facts, but they are really just the perceived impression.  Often that perception is prompted by other things going on in our lives.  I don't have the money for essential oils, so therefore, they don't work.  Done.  Now I don't have to feel guilty for not giving them a try.  I get it.  We've probably all done that, but when we do, we're not being honest with ourselves.  Let's try to base our decisions on real facts, and not just those that are convenient for us.

Going back to the "expensive" argument, (and I would argue that they aren't expensive, considering all things), even if they were, what price is too much for something that will change your life and keep your body healthy?  If you had a vitamin or a medication that could enhance your wellness and keep you healthy into old age, what price would you pay?  Heck, what price wouldn't you pay?   If someone you

loved had a serious disease and you had a remedy that would help, wouldn't you do anything you could to save that person?  So, it's not a point of cost in reality.  It's a point of belief, and that goes back to mindset. Essential oils are preventative medicine, at a cost that doesn't come close to what you'll pay if you truly get sick.

I believe a healthy attitude of acceptance is crucial in this world.  With so many people having vastly different cultures, lifestyles, and opinions, we can only survive if we grow and change with the times.  We need to accept differences and not dwell on them with negativity.  Who's to say that our way is the right way?  Is there a right way?  Probably not.  And yet, probably so.  The right way is the that works for you.  But live and let live, right?  

So, if you've judged essential oils (or me) unfairly, I ask that you give them a second try.  There is so much to learn and so many different oils to try.  Not one person in this world could not benefit from using these natural wonders.  And just think of all the money you'll be saving when you don't  need to call the doctor.