Happiness is not permanent. Wholeness is. Don't confuse these.
What the heck does that mean? Wholeness? Well, to be whole is to be filled up, right? To have all your parts? YOUR parts. So am I whole? What are my parts? I searched for some answers from the Wise Google, and found another similar quote.
So, happiness is not permanent. That makes a lot of sense. There's a balance that plays out throughout our lifetime, constantly striving to return to happiness. And from yet another quote, we can't really appreciate happiness if it is all we know. If we didn't have the rain, we would not appreciate the beauty of a sunny summer's day ... you get the idea.
But let's get back to wholeness. I feel whole. A LOT of whole. But that doesn't equate to "wholeness" in the sense that the author intends. Wholeness, to me, means having the basic needs in your life complete - or nearly complete. Basic needs? Well, those we need for survival - food, shelter, clothing, safety, security, etc. But as in Maslow's hierarchy, we must also provide for our psychological needs, and those of self-fulfillment. And since it is a hierarchy, the basic needs must be satisfied before the we can feel accomplished and fulfilled.
Back to balance. As the title of this blog suggests, I feel I am still a work in progress. I would like to think most of us are ... still dreaming and working to that dream that fulfills us - and perhaps changing the dream several times over a lifetime. I've got the basic physiological and safety needs down. I have a loving relationship with my spouse and strong relationships with my family. I always feel a little on the outside looking in with regard to friendships, but I have some good friends I can depend on when things get tough. Esteem. Yeah, I feel appreciated by others and I've accomplished some major goals in my life. I guess the area I am still working at is in self-actualization, the tip of the pyramid.
Creativity? I've got that pretty much down, I believe. It's something that comes naturally to me and that I enjoy. But the "full potential" part is daunting. How can we know our full potential? Frankly, we can't. I often hear that term bantered about in education ... but should there be a limit to our potential? Is it something we can even reach? I believe there is no ceiling to potential - it just keeps growing with you, opening new doors and setting higher heights. We shouldn't limit children to reaching a particular goal if they are capable of much more. So, achieving one's full potential is a matter of balance -- and to some extent, a matter of choice.
What we choose to work on for our self improvement may change over time. One year we may be all about education - reading everything we can get our hands on about a new topic of interest. Another year it may be about health and wellness, or perhaps a career change. Perhaps that feeling of "wholeness" comes from balancing all the parts of your life and continually moving forward to keep growing those parts, but perhaps at different times. Wholeness isn't a static entity. It's fluid and malleable - like clay - you can shape it anyway you like, and keep changing it.
In one of my gifted classes, we learn about "multipotentialites." Yeah, it's a contrived name by the author of a TED Talk, Emily Wapnick. She has a theory that there are many people out there who have this condition known as multipotentiality. Boy, would that be a nightmare to live up to! "Not only can you become a surgeon, but when you're done with that, you can be a rocket scientist, too!" Okay, no. It's not exactly like that ...
Multipotentiality is an educational and psychological term referring to the ability and preference of a person, particularly one of strong intellectual or artistic curiosity, to excel in two or more different fields.[1] [2]
It can also refer to an individual whose interests span multiple fields or areas, rather than being strong in just one. Such traits are called multipotentialities, while "multipotentialites" has been suggested as a name for those with this trait.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multipotentiality
Yeah, it's on Wikipedia, so it's a real thing.
I especially like teaching this to 6th graders because for most of their life, they've been labeled "smart" or "genius" and been asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" That can be overwhelming to a kid. Why limit yourself to just one career or topic of study when you have a thirst for so much more?
In order to fulfill your multiple goals, you will need balance. No one can do everything at once. It's impossible. Well, maybe not impossible, but superhuman at the least. There is just too much in our lives to deal with to not let some things go at some point. Don't worry, you can pick it up later. It will be there waiting. So pick something, and while you're working on it, keep the other plates spinning. Yeah, I know. One or two may fall. That's okay. That's being human - and learning from our experiences. Balance can't be achieved without a learning curve. So you drop a few plates. I bet you learned something. Keep trying and you'll get there... just in time to set your sights on something new. And that's living life to the fullest, right?
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Thanks for adding your voice!