What Price, Rewards?

This might ruffle a few feathers, but I mean no disrespect to anyone.  These are just observations ...  take them as an opinion, but without judgement.  

I'm not sure what prompted this -- probably a commercial, or maybe I overhead a family talking.  What am I talking about?  The ways the we reward our children for good grades, good behavior, doing what they are supposed to do.  Think about it.  What do we offer for getting kids to do what we want?

• McDonalds, KFC, Arbys, etc.
• Candy, Cookies, Donuts
• Treats in the lunch box
• Ice cream
• Video games or "screen" time

I've heard families talk about McDonalds like winning the lottery.  Isn't it great?  McDonalds!  Yeah, so glad you are filling your family with processed, high sodium, high sugar foods.  What a prize!  And here, wash it all down with a coke and later we'll stop at Abbott's for an ice cream.

See anything wrong with this?  Oh, again, I'm not judging.  I am guilty of this, too -- both when my kids were young, and even on the rare occasion I see my 5 year old niece.  We all want to give our kids something nice, or fun, or sweet.  A special treat!  Yay!   But when we reward with junk food, sweets, or processed yummies, we are saying that it's okay to have these things when we deserve them.  My new view is that it's not really okay to ever have them - and if we deserve a treat, why not make it something that is good for us, and not something that will help to deteriorate our bodies.  

I know.  It seems an extreme reaction, and as I said before, I'm just as guilty.  But if I had rewarded my kids with a different kind of reward, perhaps none of us would be striving to lose weight or cut down on sugar.  Sugar is addictive - far more than any drug - and it feeds cancer cells.  Now sugar is what the brain needs to function, too, but the catch is how much.  If we have a surplus of sugar, then our brain stops functioning effectively.  

High blood sugar can lead to diabetes and inactivity, which can also lead to heart problems.  The things we reward our kids with often do the most damage to them long-term.

And maybe you're someone who truly does limit sweets and other goodies.  Do you have control at school?  At grandma's house?  And are your growing kids making healthy choices for themselves?  If so, congratulations!  You've succeeded at a miraculous feat!

I'm not going to get into video games or screen time at this time - only to say that limiting screen time is important for everyone, and I even need to set limits for myself.  When we sit in front of the computer, iPad, smartphone or tv, we are probably not having a conversation, or reading a book -- two activities which don't have negative consequences, and can actually be good for you.

So how do we fix this vicious circle?  I know I treated my kids to candy and other sugar treats, just as I was treated.  I'm hoping that any future grandchildren I have will not be treated in the same way.  We have to see these things for

what they are -- a rare treat that we must choose for ourselves.  Yup, I'm willing to gain a few pounds and lose a few brain cells over that Tiramisu Cheesecake ...  But only once a year.  However, I don't have the right to kill the brain cells of children in my care.

I bring apples to my classroom once a year and every student gets an apple that day.  You would think I had given them a pony.  They are so excited to choose an apple and

then enjoy it in class.  Really.  An apple.  They LOVE apple day.  So kids aren't really the problem.  We have instilled this on them, that candy is a treat and to be coveted.  No wonder we have an obesity epidemic in our country.

The fact is, once we wean ourselves from our sugar habits, we cease to crave it.  If only I could get to that stage!  But my point is, let's stop using something so damaging as sugar to reward our kids.  It sends the wrong message and builds unhealthy habits for the future.  Instead, plan a family fun day, play a board game, or just spend quality time with your child.  It will be a reward for you, too, because your time with them is limited.  (And as an empty-nester, I know how fast it goes!)  Why not spend quality time with your kids and build your relationship.  Give the gift of you.  It is far more valuable and it doesn't cause any nasty health issues!

Further reading

• It’s Up to Us, Not Our Kids, to Change the Food Environment
• Soccer Mom on a (Nutrition) Mission
• No More Skittles: School Snacks May Get Healthy Update
• What Rewarding Kids with Food Looks Like 20 Years Later
• The Sugar and Cancer Connection: Why Sugar Is Called “The White Death”
• No Sugar, No Cancer? A Look at the Evidence